Top Ten

I have been at NOVA for two full years and the time has finally come. I am moving on. At the end of this semester, I will have completed my Associate of Science degree. Now, I am in the midst of nursing school applications. So, to celebrate, here is a list of the top five things I hate about this process.

1.  I never feel good enough. No matter how good my grades are, I wish they were better. No matter how much I like my essay, I think it could be better. No matter how great my work experience is, I know it could be better. Have you read the statistics on transfer students accepted into Georgetown University? 10% acceptance rate. Yikes!
2. Online applications make me nervous. Did I save my information? Did I type everything in accurately? Can I save this and come back later? DID I JUST SUBMIT AN INCOMPLETE APPLICATION? Ack, technology! It makes me feel old.
3. Speaking of old, I feel old. When I look at the websites of the schools where I am applying, I see these gorgeous, fresh faced co-eds, beaming at the camera and slinging their eco-friendly messenger bags from side to side. I get it, those are marketing materials. It is likely that I won’t be the only slightly graying, tote-bag carrying 30-something on campus. Then again…
4. Holy application fees, Batman! Between application fees to the universities, application fees to the nursing schools and fees for the entrance exams, I am in hundreds deep for each school! That might be the status quo, but it is a lot of dough for a shot in the dark school. Don’t get me wrong, I am still taking the shot, it just makes my wallet ache a little. (Ow.)
5. I’m scared. Let’s face it, it all comes down to this one thing. I am scared. Up until now I have been safely pursuing some gen-ed requirements loosely geared towards nursing school applications, but those classes could lead me in a million different directions. Or, maybe 20, but who is counting. Anyway, now I take the plunge. I put it all out there into the internets, declaring my wish. I want to be a nurse. Please accept me! Please think I am good enough, and tech savvy enough, and young enough, and make my $250 investment worth it! Pick me!

UPDATE:

Wait, wait! Let’s make it a TOP TEN.

1. Applying is way easier now than it used to be. Wonderful modern inventions such as the online application, which I know complained about earlier, are actually making the entire process so much easier! I recall having to type out letters asking for transcripts before, now I fill out an online form and voilà! Instant records!
2. I am really proud of the work I have accomplished. My GPA is pretty darn good, and over the past two years I have challenged myself in ways that are completely new to me. I also found out how much I love Biology. Go Science!
3. I am one huge step closer to my dream. This semester, I will earn my first degree. It has taken me a while to get here, but I have finally made it, and I could not be more proud.
4. I have met some really amazing people on this journey. I have had the benefit of some really great classmates and some terrific professors. I have also reached out to a lot of people I didn’t really know before to talk about the health care field. I am so lucky to have an amazing network of friends and colleagues who have helped me carve out the path in front of me.
5. I am going to be a nurse! At the end of this process, I will be in nursing school. I don’t know which one, but I have faith that everything I have done will get me to where I am going. No matter the outcome of this process, I will find a way to make my path.

I had to come back and update this post because frankly, my first five sound pretty miserable. Sure, it isn’t easy. I am scared, and insecure, and I second guess myself all the time. But at the same time, I am exhilarated and excited about where I am headed. I recognize that the fear comes from the fact that this is so important to me. I never second guess my decision to become a nurse. And, the excitement outweighs the fear, every single time.